The title of this post in no way describes my normal state over the last 3 months, despite my best efforts.
Last night, as I was talking with my sweet, supportive husband, I was telling him my urge to drink buckets of coffee and stay up, night after night, gorging myself on writing, planning, and making my coaching practice successful right this instant. Yesterday would be even better. Nevermind that I just started this four months ago. Am I there yet?
Of course, this is completely counterproductive. Yes, I’ve been taking time to do what I commit to doing for my health and wellbeing (mainly because if I don’t, my body screams at me), but my heart hasn’t been in it. It’s been here, with my computer. Trying to figure out how to reach the people I most want to help. Trying to make my practice be something that it isn’t yet.
“You cannot fail if you are willing to be with things as they are.” -Jon Kabat Zinn
My husband pointed out to me (how did I get so lucky?) that in my hyper-focused state, planning future programs that I *think* will be helpful to my peeps, I am losing the bubble on what’s most helpful for ME, in this moment. Which makes me useless and gets me all caught up in yuk energy, eventually exhausted and unwilling to take one more step. It also makes it completely impossible to be present and also be aware and grateful for all the success I’ve had in such a brief period of time…
This state of being is NOT the way to run a business or a life. I know that. You know that. Don’t we ALL know that? It’s like those oxygen masks on the airplane. You have to put your own on before you can help anyone else.
I would like to think I’m not alone in this. I’m assuming I’m not, actually. Because I think it’s a fairly common assumption that we make as newbie solo entrepreneurs: the harder we work, the more successful we will be. This may or may not be true, but one thing I am certain of, is that relaxed entrepreneurs are the ones who are most likely to enjoy every step of the way, and, in the end, be more successful. Take Mark Silver or Pam Slim, for instance. I love what Pam says, “Life first, business second.” Meaning, figure out what you want your life to look like and then create a business that supports that.
Being relaxed about business, then, in my mind, is about being intentional – with life, with happiness, with health. Seeing business as simply a part of the puzzle and not the biggest part. So, in complete defiance of my Type-A tendency, the computer is actually going to get powered down on the evenings I don’t have classes for more time with my daughter and with my very wise, loving, husband. I am going to take LONGER exercise sessions every day and schedule unbreakable dates with friends. Who knows? I may start cooking dinner again! I really want to watch more funny chick flicks, too. Any recommendations?
How do you take action on your commitment to yourself outside of your working role – as employee, entrepreneur, parent, etc.? Is there something you want to be doing that you haven’t? What stops you and, can you find a way to begin, today?
Post, twittified
Being relaxed and finding harmony in our different roles is tough. Be intentional- the present moment is a good place to start. Enjoy it all.
Coming Friday, as usual, Gratitude Junkies!!
Until then,
photo courtesy of Mike Baird, via Creative Commons License.
{ 4 comments }
Hi Nona,
Great post. It is so true that we need to take time for our families and life outside of work. My problem is that I have a full-time job on top of writing a blog in addition to that. I think you are smart to power down the computer at night. When I got home at night I used to have my laptop in hand while my wife was busy telling me about her day. Needless to say, my mind was not fully devoted to the conversation. I decided to leave the laptop aside until much later, after dinner, so as not to get in the way of our daily conversations. This has worked for me.
Best,
Bob
Bob – my husband is in direct competition with my Mac Book Pro! I’m sort of kidding, sort of not!! He is awesome and very supportive and understanding, but, like you, I recognize that I’m not so much present to him when I’m also on the laptop.
Thanks for your comments – I love it that you wait until later in the evening to hop back on the computer… I bet your wife appreciates it, too!
“Am I there yet?” Oh, Nona, that hit me right between the eyes. Thanks for the wake-up call.
Laurie – and where is “there” anyway?? That’s what I want to know!
xx
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