The last few days have been seriously squirmy and uncomfortable. Have you had times like that? Where everything just feels off and all wrong and you can’t shake a feeling of doom and gloom? Every spare moment was focused on questioning and evaluating everything about my business (and myself) and the work I’m doing. It wasn’t pretty and it felt even uglier. It was negative and truly unproductive (though my thinking-mind insisted this was important analysis).
“This is useless.”
“I don’t even know why you are trying to do this.”
“You have no idea what you are doing…”
Thoughts like this seriously stress me out. I’m betting you have your own version of this kind of thinking that rears it’s ugly head from time to time. Even though one of the main services I provide as a coach is to help people get distance from (and re-write) negative thoughts and beliefs, it still happens to me. I can easily get sucked into over-identifying with what my mind feeds me in the way of thoughts. And then I get to practice pulling myself out of the mind-mud that I’ve gotten stuck in.
In order to catch this kind of thinking (and nip it in the bud), here’s what to do:
*Notice your body
Check in frequently with your body and notice any held tension or feelings of heavy & tired. If you are you sick (I was suffering from the flu…), this is a good time to be vigilant with the care and feeding of your mind as a preventive measure. Any time you scan the body and find held tension, do a mini-mind dump get your thoughts out of your head and onto the paper. This provides a sense of distance and objectivity that simply doesn’t exist when we let our thoughts run around, all willy-nilly, in our heads.
*You are okay right where you are
You can’t be somewhere you aren’t. It is critical to recognize and acknowledge any feelings you are having and offer yourself a strong dose of your own compassion and love. Take a moment and really be okay, exactly where you are. This is the part I like to try and avoid at all costs – everyone else does too. That’s okay, but really. We just can’t be somewhere that we fundamentally aren’t. That’s reality for you.
*Shift your thinking
Sometimes writing it out provides the shift we need. Sometimes, we need to talk it out with a friend. Other times, our thoughts are so entrenched, it’s time to enlist a coach. I use both self-coaching 101 courtesy of Brooke Castillo and The Work of Byron Katie. Sometimes, I only have to ask myself one question, “Is it true?” and in the blink of eye, my perspective changes.
*Other really easy things that help this process. A lot.
-Move your body. Our feelings and thoughts originate, and get stuck in, our bodies. I like Yoga. You might like Tai Chi. I’m also starting to play around with Shiva Nata. Walking can be equally as good for working out the kinks.
-Having a regular practice of stillness (aka: meditation) can helps our ongoing awareness that our thoughts aren’t “us”. That we are bigger than our thoughts and feelings and bodies. That our thoughts can be totally crazy, but underneath the surface of all that noise is stillness and wisdom that is always available to us.
-Gratitude. Trying to practice gratitude in the middle of a mind-mud episode is futile and painful. I don’t recommend it. However, it is a wonderful preventive measure and will make you feel wonderful.
Wishing you peaceful thoughts and easy freedom from mind-mud attacks (especially during the now-upon-us holidays!)
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