My gratitude fix this week, is a random, hodge-podge assortment of very loosely linked stories and thoughts… shake your head sadly at my lack of cohesion, but join me in appreciating what is good and right in YOUR life this week….
This morning, I was reflecting on how I think to myself, “This is the best time of my life.” You know, Iike the Bryan Adams song? Each year, I love my husband more, each year, I adore my daughter more, each year, I get happier and clearer about who I am and what I bring to the big kitchen table of life. Every year, more blessings – and what a gift to know, deep down, that even the stuff that is yuk and ew and hard, in the end, after the yuk and ew and hard is over, ends up being a shiny, golden gift.
Our family is approaching our final year in Rome. Time flies. Seriously. There are aspects of Rome that drive me nuts, but, on the whole, I will miss the chaos and the liveliness of the city when we leave. I am feeling pre-nostalgia, which is funny to me given that we have a year left. But anyway. One thing I was noting last night to Erick, is that Italian women have very normal bodies. For the most part, they aren’t emaciated (some are, but not many) and they aren’t obese and they certainly don’t aspire to be ripped and cut like men.
When I go to the gym, the women aren’t ever working super hard, they are enjoying themselves and the community of friends they are with. I am so grateful to have experienced this kind of attitude towards bodies. I’m even more grateful that Clara has experienced this – one of my deepest wishes for her is that the sense of being okay with some soft flesh stays with her and she can relax and appreciate all that her body does for her, even if it’s not perfect. In this moment, that is certainly how I feel about my body. And it feels great.
What does that have to do with yuk, and ew, and hard? Well, my initial year here was sort of yuk and ew, and hard – not only with my body and illness, but also in adjusting to our lifestyle. Now, what I see is that the first year has magically become the bedrock for the experience of a lifetime. It has led me to doing work that I am passionate about, it has been an amazing experience for my daughter, and, it has set Erick on a path that will be a lifetime pursuit for him, I’m sure. I think back on how scared I was to throw a party, how freaked I was about being a diplomat’s wife, how worried I was about my lack of Italian language skills, how out of control I felt. But NOW…
I threw a party for 38 people last week and couldn’t wait for it. It was a huge success, everyone had a great time, and I was relaxed.
Today I ran into another diplomat’s wife at the gym. She speaks some English, some German and some Italian. I didn’t tense up and worry that we can’t communicate, nor did I worry what she was thinking because I wasn’t wearing any makeup – I was really happy to see her and I hope that I will run into her often. What a treat!
Many of the local shop people know me now and they are so sweet when I don’t understand them. We make it work. I’m part of their neighborhood now. I love that.
I still don’t feel entirely in control – largely because Rome is not a city that really allows for that false sense of security. But that, too, has been a blessing. For instance, no one is obsessively washing their hands or freaking out about swine flu. If it happens, we will deal with it then. The Italian’s, on the whole, are really wonderful at living in the present moment and letting the stuff they don’t have any control over work itself out.
What this all adds up to, at the end of the day is a larger sense of what I can accomplish, what I can handle, and a deep down knowing that it is necessary and transformative to go straight into the places that scare you. At the end of the day, today, I am comfortable in my skin, with my place in the world, and even, dare I tempt fate? I am more comfortable with change and have so many more tools to handle big stuff – even if it doesn’t look pretty in the doing. And THAT is something that I am infinitely grateful for…
Your turn.
Have a lovely weekend~
photo courtesy of DailyM at Flickr via Creative Commons License
{ 4 comments }
Wow. What a fabulous post!! Love your “random, hodge-podge” gratitude!
I do hope that Clara’s experience of women comfortable with themselves and their bodies remains with her once your tour in Rome is over!
My initial year in New Zealand was yuk and ew and hard, too! My anthropologist-friends tell me it takes Two Years to settle into a new culture, and I’m sure they’re right! But the lessons one learns are jewels, changing one’s life and outlook forever!
With the new knowledge you have gained, you will be a Phenomenal coach!
Much love to you,
Nona
Nona I am always grateful to know that others struggle when they move, too. I rarely, if ever, hear people in my community talk about the difficulty and challenge in starting over again in a new place.
I believe that your friend is right. This year, our third, is certainly shaping up to be the best yet. I have definitely found the two-year rule to be true!
And, thank you for the very kind words
xoxo
Nona,
Loved reading your blog and notice so many similarities. I am working on my 500 hr teacher training now at Kripalu and love their yoga style. Do you teach anywhere now? How fun this would be to teach in Italy. It may be difficult with your daughter, but a great thought.
I wish you great joy and peace. It sounds like you are on that path. How do you like the Martha Beck coaching style? My friend is Susan Hyatt, who works with all the new coaches. Do you know her? We might have got connected that way.
Well, keep us posted on your journey, enjoy the sights and sounds of Italy, and good luck with your coaching career!
blessings..
Stacey
Stacey – Yes, it was through Susan Hyatt that I found you!
I do teach Yoga here, along with coaching! The two compliment each other so well… how do you like the program at Kripalu? Is that where you did your 200 hour training, or elsewhere?
xoxo – Nona
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