I am on vacation this week and thought I would post some posts from Everyday Yogini, my Yoga blog while I’m enjoying some family time in Austria. One of the biggest gifts of parenting for me has been the absolute joy of having my own zen master, in residence. Her presence in my life has taught me how to stay present and trust myself more than anything else. It is a topic close to my heart and one I feel a great deal of passion about. I hope you enjoy it.
“We rise to the occassion, and the occasion is this life, right now, just as it is. Practicing Yoga does not eliminate life’s challenges, and neither does it provide us with a convenient trap-door to escape from life’s distractions. Instead, Yoga gives us the skills to meet life head-on with dignity and poise.” -Donna Farhi
It’s raining in Rome. Clara and I had an appointment for her to see the doctor about her gunky eyes. I don’t drive here (yet), and Clara was so excited to get on the bus for her adventure to the doctor. Rain boots on feet, umbrellas in hand, we set out.
There was running and splashing and all around hilarity until the bus arrived. Packed. Like a sardine can. Clara and I squeezed on and she found a bar to hold onto. Then, someone had the audacity to offer us a different spot, away from the door. This nice person had the audacity to touch Clara. The rest of the bus ride was spent with Clara crying hysterically that she didn’t like buses. Unfortunately for everyone, sweet, older Italian grandmas and grandpas kept coming up and stroking her, which would set off louder, more insistent wails of despair. I smiled and stroked her back and held her. Because it was clear to me, I wasn’t going to be able to stop it. I just had to go with it and let her do her thing. It felt like a pretty long bus ride, truth be told, with some people glaring, others offering (not so) helpful suggestions. It was, I think, 10 minutes.
Finally, we arrived at the Embassy and the tears stopped when I offered up a treat at the cafe. I am not above bribing my daughter with chocolate, Yoginis. Clara was pure happiness and sunshine in the cafe and for Dr. Rosa, bless her heart. The bus ride back she talked with a little old man the whole time and you could tell it made his day. That girl.
I am always extraordinarily grateful when these kinds of happenings don’t turn me into a wreck, which accomplishes nothing. Despite all the offers of ways to fix my daughter in this situation, I stuck with what I knew to be true and just rode it out. I did some essential breathing and in my mind, bathed her in loving-kindness.
I suspect we are coming to an end with these seemingly unprovoked tantrums. Why? Well, because I’m finally figuring out how to stay put and not react. This is usually the first sign that things are about to change again. A wise grandma told me once, “As soon as you have one phase figured out, it all changes again.” I have found that to be very, very true. And it is also what makes parenting such a profound spiritual experience and our children our greatest teachers.
Comments on this entry are closed.